This Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers certainly found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’
But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious glorification of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful procession of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
MobLand
Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you view them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a sales brochure. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Game Show
It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.
Prime Target
We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.